No one wants to think about a crisis occurring. When the last emotional emergency was over, no doubt you hoped it would be the last. Planning for emergencies is uncomfortable because it means thinking about upsetting events when they aren’t happening and it means thinking about difficult choices. But one of the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder is unrelenting crises and you will decrease your stress and be able to respond more consistently if you have a Crisis Coping Plan.
Your crisis plan might include how you will respond to various behaviors that your loved one is likely to exhibit. Record your plan in detail. Write down the phone numbers of your loved one’s psychiatrist, therapist, and anyone else you may need to call. Maybe you would keep a list of her medications, her license plate number, and the phone numbers of her best friends.
Helping yourself cope with the stress of crises is also important. What are your primary self soothing skills? What are activities you can use to distract yourself? Who are people you can spend time with and who are people you can talk openly with about your feelings? Write down their names and phone numbers.
When you are not in crisis, remember to take good care of yourself. Having a loved one suffer from BPD can be stressful on the family and chronic stress reactions are not unusual for family members. Nurturing yourself will help you and your loved one.
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