How to Say I Love You Every Day, Even When its Hard to Express Your Feelings

Letting people know you love them is important. Saying, “They know,” may be accurate, but the experience of hearing “I love you” expressed in different ways feels so amazing, and it strengthens relationships. Most people don’t talk with each other like the characters in a romantic movie and sometimes in real life that way of expressing love can feel fake or cheesy. So how to do it?

Here are some heartfelt ways to convey “I love you” when it’s hard to express your feelings directly:

1. Show Appreciation:

• Express your gratitude for the person and what they mean to you. For example, “I’m so grateful to have you in my life.” You can say this with a smile and loving eyes. Whether you say it randomly, for no apparent reason, or after a moment in which you feel extra appreciative—it makes a difference.

2. Acts of Kindness:

• Show your love through thoughtful actions. Actions often speak louder than words, such as making their favorite meal or helping with something they care about. Maybe you know they have an excessively busy day, so you take on one of their tasks.

3. Physical Affection:

• Sometimes a hug, a gentle touch, or holding hands can communicate love more effectively than words. Just reaching over with a brief touch says a lot. Touch is the language of intimacy.

4. Write a Note or Letter:

• Sometimes writing down your feelings can make it easier to express love. You could write a heartfelt letter or leave a note expressing what they mean to you. Sending a card or letter in the mail, even if or especially if, you live in the same house can have even more impact. It’s unexpected, and obviously, you were thinking about the person in order to do that.
  

5. Use Creative Expression:

• If you’re artistically inclined, create something special for them, like a painting, a song, or a poem that conveys your emotions. Sing the song for them, or read the poem aloud, after they are comfortable and enjoying some relaxing moments with you.

6. Share Memories:

• Reminisce about happy moments you’ve shared together. Sharing memories can evoke feelings of love and connection. It’s called savoring. It’s so easy sometimes to remember the tough times and it can take more intention to focus on and relive the positive. 
  

7. Be Present:

• Show your love by being fully present and attentive when you’re together. Listen actively and engage in meaningful conversations. Show them that they are more important than your phone! Yes, it makes a difference.

8. Support and Encouragement:

• Offer support during challenging times and celebrate their successes. Showing that you’re there for them demonstrates your love and commitment. When they are upset over a mistake they made, don’t jump on the “you should have known better” bandwagon. Instead, give them grace. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and supports them instead. Imagine that someone you love pulls forward over a parking divider and dents the bumper of your car. This is not the time to tell them they need to pay attention or to talk about how much the repair will cost. That only makes them feel bad over something they didn’t do on purpose and doesn’t solve the problem at all. 

9. Speak Their Love Language:

• Identify their love language (acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch) and express your love in a way that resonates with them. If you don’t know their love language, ask them. You can also watch the way they show love to others. Often the way love is expressed is the way they want to receive love.

10. Use Non-Verbal Cues:

• Sometimes a smile, a loving gaze, or a shared moment of laughter can communicate love without words. When you out, wink at them, for example.
  

11. Seek Guidance from a Shared Symbol:

• If you have a shared symbol or gesture that represents your relationship, using it can be a subtle yet meaningful way to say “I love you.” Playing your song or initiating a special handshake emphasizes your closeness.

12. Be Patient and Understanding:

• Recognize that expressing emotions can be difficult for some people. Give yourself and the other person time and space to process feelings.

Breaks are important for your physical and mental health. Even with just an hour, you can create a meaningful break that helps you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation, tailored to your personal preferences and needs. If you have an OC temperament and are stressed by always doing, doing, doing–then RO DBT might be for you.