Most of us spend a lot of time in our minds’ time machine—replaying the past, worrying about the future, and missing the only place we can truly live: the present moment. It’s natural to want to understand what went wrong yesterday or to plan for what’s coming next week, but getting stuck there can create suffering. Worrying about the future often brings anxiety. Being focused on the past can bring resentment, bitterness, or ongoing sadness. At the Houston DBT Center, we help clients learn how to balance reflection, presence, and preparation using principles from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness, and Radically Open DBT (RO DBT).
When Your Mind Keeps Time Traveling
Our brains are designed to remember and to anticipate. Remembering helps us learn; anticipating helps us prepare. Being in the present though is where we need to be to live. Spending too much time in the past or the future can keep us trapped.
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Replaying the past can lead to regret, shame, or endless “if-only” thinking.
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Living in the future can create anxiety, over-control, and constant pressure to be ready for every possibility.
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Living in the present connects us to what’s real—our senses, relationships, and purpose—but takes mindful effort.
The key is to hold both truths: the past and future matter, and the present is where change happens.
DBT: Balancing Acceptance and Change
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed to help people find balance between acceptance and change. That same principle applies to how we hold time.
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Acceptance means acknowledging what has happened, even if we wish it were different.
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Change means using that awareness to make wiser choices now and for the future.
DBT teaches core skills that support this balance:
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Mindfulness skills bring awareness to when your mind drifts into rumination or worry.
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Distress tolerance helps you stay grounded when memories or fears feel intense and there is no learning or planning, It just pulls you out of the present
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Emotion regulation teaches you to respond effectively to feelings tied to both past experiences and future concerns.
Through practice, you begin to live from Wise Mind —that balanced space where emotion and reason meet, and where you can take effective action in the moment. Accepting what can’t be changed (doesn’t mean you like it) and working to change what you can.
Mindfulness: Returning Home to Now
Mindfulness is the practice of noticing where your attention goes and gently guiding it back to the present. It’s not about emptying your mind—it’s about becoming aware.
You might notice:
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When you’re replaying a conversation or anticipating one.
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How your body feels right now—your breath, posture, or surroundings.
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What’s happening in this moment that you can actually influence or appreciate.
Each time you return to now, you strengthen the part of your brain that helps regulate emotions, reduce anxiety, and build calm focus. Mindfulness therapy at our Houston center helps clients learn simple practices that fit daily life—from pausing between meetings to breathing before a difficult discussion.
RO DBT: Flexibility, Openness, and Letting Go of Control
Radically Open DBT (RO DBT) addresses what happens when we try to controltoo much—over-analyzing the past or over-planning the future.
People who are highly conscientious, perfectionistic, or rule-focused often feel safest when everything is planned and predictable. But constant control can limit connection, spontaneity, and joy.
RO DBT teaches:
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Openness to experience, even when uncertainty feels uncomfortable.
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Social signaling skills—showing warmth, receptivity, and trust to others.
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Self-enquiry, a gentle curiosity about understanding the cause for what we do instead of rigid self-criticism.
By loosening perfectionism and cultivating flexibility, clients rediscover a sense of aliveness—able to plan wisely without missing what’s happening now.
Integrating the Past, Present, and Future
Balance doesn’t mean giving each equal time; it means knowing when to shift focus.
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Reflect on the past to learn, not to punish yourself.
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Plan for the future to prepare, not to prevent all discomfort.
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Stay in the present to live, not to escape responsibility.
When we learn to carry the past and future lightly, we become more engaged, compassionate, and resilient in the present.
Living the Dialectic: Fully Present, Gently Forward
At the Houston DBT Center, our therapists use DBT and RO DBT to help clients find this equilibrium—whether you struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, trauma, or emotional over-control.
Each approach teaches a version of the same truth:
The only place you can change your life is right here, right now.
You can honor your past, plan for your future, and still live fully today.
That’s the essence of balance—and of psychological freedom.
About the Houston DBT Center
We provide evidence-based therapy in Houston and online throughout Texas, including DBT, RO DBT, and Mindfulness-based approaches for adults, teens, and families.
To learn more or schedule an intake, call 713-973-2800 or visit www.houstondbtcenter.com.